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All Cops Are Bastards

There are 3 Types of Cops

There are “Bastard Cops,” dirty cops on a power trip, corrupt cops on the take, racist cops, lazy cops and sexual predator cops. Some have elevated their skills by combining two or more “Bastard Cop” traits. The 2nd category are “Bastards in Training.” They’re still developing their “Bastard” skills and credentials. Eventually, they’ll become one of “Bastard Cops.” The last group are former cops who couldn’t stomach the “Bastard Cop” culture and either quit, got fired or just retired on the job, doing nothing except collect a paycheck.

It’s taken me a long time, too long, to finally understand that just the act of becoming a cop makes one give up part of one’s humanity in return for money, benefits and impunity from consequences. When I first heard the phrase “ACAB” (All Cops Are Bastards, I felt bad for what I assumed were the majority of “good” cops. Today, I know there aren’t any good cops. The cop culture just won’t tolerate anyone who doesn’t toe the line and, at the least, looks the other way when bad things happen.

I recommend three potential solutions to changing police culture. First, accountability and consequences. When cops are convicted of bad behavior, sentence them like anyone else and make them responsible for a portion of the damages. If the cop doesn’t have the wherewithal to pay damages, take it out of their pension.

Second, ban all police unions. Police unions have no place in a civilized society. At the very least, prohibit unions from intervening in any disciplinary actions. If unions exist, they should be limited strictly to pay, benefits and working conditions issues, disciplinary actions should be handled strictly in the courts.

Finally, establish higher education and training standards. A 4 year Bachelor’s degree should be mandatory. Current law enforcement training classes should be extended and expanded to a minimum of 1 year or 2048 hours instead of the paltry 16 weeks, 652 hours, generally required in the US. The following graph is from a 2020 dataset compiled by the Institute for Criminal Justice Training Reform.

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This 2021 graph by BBC shows a grim comparison between US cops and other developed countries vis-a-vis training requirements in other countries.

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Bottom line, the current situation simply recycles the same old problems from current bad cops to the next generation of bad cops. Police departments are more like criminal enterprises than peacekeepers. For an eye-opening current story about Phoenix, Arizona, the 5th largest city in the US, see the ABC15 Video Series about the DOJ Final Report on PHXPD.

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